Slice of My Life

Scene: Walmart

Characters: Me, my parents, my brother (on phone)

Action: My cell rings, it's my brother calling to wish me happy birthday.

Me: Hey.
Bro: Hey. Happy birthday.
Me: Thanks, man. What's up?
*My father: Where's the fried chicken?*
*My mother: You don't need fried chicken.*
*My father: Don't worry about what I need, woman.*
Bro: Is that mom and dad?
Me: Who else? Dad needs fried chicken apparently. What have you been doing?
Bro: Working my butt off. So, you're 37 now?
Me: 38
Bro: 38? You can't be 38. I'm 34.
*My father: Is this the right chicken?*
*My mother: That's 8 pieces. You can't eat all that.*
*My father puts chicken in cart.*
Me: You're 35.
Bro: No I'm not.
Me to my mother: How old is Matthew?
Mom: 35
Me to my brother: See? Dude, you're old.
Bro: I'm pretty sure I'm 34.
Me: Fine. We'll go with that. I'm sure the woman who gave birth to you has no clue how long ago the event occured.
Bro: Whatever. What did you do today?
Me: We watched a snapping turtle eat a dead raccoon.
Bro: Cool. Did you get pics?
Me: No.
Bro: You suck.
Me: Thanks.
*My father: Ooo...doughnuts!*
Bro: Yeah, well, happy birthday.