Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Theme: POV - The How

I was hoping to get a few examples of writing I could use to demonstrate how to get into deep POV, but no one sent anything SO I'll just talk about it a bit.

Deep POV helps a reader further connect with the character whose POV you're writing in. It makes the action and emotion immediate. I'll provide my own examples here.

Shallow POV:

She watched the handsome stranger approach her, feeling short of breath and wishing she had that same kind of courage.

Deep POV:

The handsome stranger approached. Her breath caught in her throat, thick and unsure. Why didn't she have that kind of courage?

Do you see the difference? Words like watch, saw, feel/felt, wish, thought, hope - those words create distance because you're telling the reader what's going on instead of letting them experience up close and personal. Show them by putting them in the head of the main character.

There are lots of distancing words. Many ways we tell instead of show. I challenge you to go through your current WIP and eliminate as many of these instances as you can.


  1. OOOOh. Verra good example. Thanks.

  2. I'm glad to see this topic, Kristen! Deep POV can be a difficult concept to get a handle on, but the end result is SO worth it! POV is probably the issue I pay the closest attention to and spend the most time on in revisions.

  3. see, personally I think I should be allowed more shallow POV since my work has to travel such a distance to get there -- sort of like the kangaroo clause. :-)