I'm A Bad Blogger

Okay, so I haven't been blogging regularly lately. I know that. I apologize. (If anyone even cares. lol) I planned to blog today, but then I read that Clay Aiken is apparently going to be a father.

I know. It left me speechless too. And totally erased whatever fabulous blog post I would have put here. Gone. Smashed to nothingness by the powerful sperm of the redheaded stepchild.

In other news, a squirrel peed on my office window, then chewed through the screen in our lanai to get to a bag of birdseed. I replaced the screen, because I am Uber Handy, then he proceeded to chew another hole. Hotrod then hosed the squirrel into submission (during which I laughed hysterically because the squirrel, although dripping wet, seemed to like his bath) and the issue seems to have resolved itself.

Now I must do something that resembles housework. You, on the other hand, should totally go dress up this squirrel. Give it a whirl. It's better than laundry.

I'm A Killer

A show killer, that is. Check it out at Fictionistas and tell me if you've killed any shows yet.

Also, say a little prayer. Hotrod is having some intense oral surgery today and he is not a happy camper.

Happy Memorial Day!

Here's America's Next Top Supermodel Dog, Pepper St. Claire (of the Roxanne St. Claire modeling company), wishing you a fabulous sun-filled day for whatever picnic, cookout or other event you might have planned.

Of course, I'd be remiss if I didn't thank all the men and women in uniform, past and present, for their service to this fine country. Thank you for keeping us free!

Whatcha Reading?

I'm finishing up The Spymaster's Lady by Joanna Bourne (not sure what I think of it yet) and about to start Roxanne St. Claire's First You Run (which I already know I'm going to love).


What are you reading?

Slice of My Life

Scene: Walmart

Characters: Me, my parents, my brother (on phone)

Action: My cell rings, it's my brother calling to wish me happy birthday.

Me: Hey.
Bro: Hey. Happy birthday.
Me: Thanks, man. What's up?
*My father: Where's the fried chicken?*
*My mother: You don't need fried chicken.*
*My father: Don't worry about what I need, woman.*
Bro: Is that mom and dad?
Me: Who else? Dad needs fried chicken apparently. What have you been doing?
Bro: Working my butt off. So, you're 37 now?
Me: 38
Bro: 38? You can't be 38. I'm 34.
*My father: Is this the right chicken?*
*My mother: That's 8 pieces. You can't eat all that.*
*My father puts chicken in cart.*
Me: You're 35.
Bro: No I'm not.
Me to my mother: How old is Matthew?
Mom: 35
Me to my brother: See? Dude, you're old.
Bro: I'm pretty sure I'm 34.
Me: Fine. We'll go with that. I'm sure the woman who gave birth to you has no clue how long ago the event occured.
Bro: Whatever. What did you do today?
Me: We watched a snapping turtle eat a dead raccoon.
Bro: Cool. Did you get pics?
Me: No.
Bro: You suck.
Me: Thanks.
*My father: Ooo...doughnuts!*
Bro: Yeah, well, happy birthday.

Sparklie Things Most Appreciated

38 years ago today, my mother gave birth to the fabulousness that is me. Thanks, Mom!

GENA SHOWALTER Chatting Live Tuesday, May 19th 8pm EST

The super-fabulous and super-talented Gena Showalter is chatting live at the Knight Agency chat room tonight at 8pm EST.

Gena is currently celebrating 3 weeks on the NYT top 15 list for her recent release THE DARKEST NIGHT, the first in the much anticipated LORDS OF THE UNDERWORLD series. Gena will be chatting about her current block-buster release and gossiping about the writing life in general. Perhaps if we're lucky she will even provide a few teasers for the second title in the series, THE DARKEST KISS (available everywhere next week!), and who knows, maybe a few give-aways will be in store! (hint, hint, hint!)

For anyone that hasn't previously chatted with Ms. Showalter, I can guarantee this is an event you don't want to miss. Not only is she an absolute doll with tons of advice on the business, but she is an absolute riot and this chat is sure to have lots of laugh out loud moments.We can't wait to see everyone there!

If you aren't yet familiar with this new series be sure to check out Gena's new Lords Of the Underworld website. Here you can find out all about the series and its' sexy tortured heroes, there are even excerpts available for each of the yet unreleased titles!

WHO: GENA SHOWALTER
WHAT: CHATTING LIVE!
WHEN: 8pm EST, Tuesday May 20, 2008
WHERE: TKA CHATROOM

To Enter the chat room: Follow this link TKA CHATROOM, enter a screen name and simply select "login."

*Rules of Play: To keep things organized, the chats are all moderated. The moderator will begin by posting the following rules of play: when you have a question, simply type a "?" and the moderator will keep a list and call on you when it is your turn.

*Chat tips:When waiting on your turn, type your question in Word or another application so when it is your turn you only have to copy and paste. (Keeps the chat running smoothly) Click on any screen name in the list to open a Private Message conversation (a lot like AIM).

See you there! In the meantime, stop by The Fictionistas and tell me if you're a wimp or not...

You Call That Cover Art?

Do you judge a book by its cover? Stop by The Fictionistas and tell us what you think!

And YAY! It's finally raining in this part of Florida!

An Open Letter To My Cat

Dear Sam,

First of all, you know Mama loves you. This is why I think we need to discuss a few things about your behavior.

1. There is no need to sit on my nightstand and stare down at me when I'm waking up. I realize you're concerned that I may forget I have cats and that they need to be feed, but I assure you, I will not. The loud yowling that commences upon your seeing my eyes open is also not necessary.

2. Neither is swatting my legs. My routine has been the same every morning for years. When I get up, I visit the litter box and brush my teeth. Nothing you do will cause me to feed you first. Not the crying, not the ankle biting, not even sleeping in my sink. I am capable of using a different sink to brush my teeth.

3. However, if you took more than one bite of your food before walking away I might be convinced you were actually hungry.

Other things that will henceforth be considered inappropriate behavior:

* Amusing yourself throughout the night by "cleaning" off my nightstand. I do not appreciate finding such things as my chapstick, hand lotion, hair scrunchy and latest book shoved onto the floor in the morning.

* Licking the lotion off my arm while I am trying to sleep.

* Sleeping on my keyboard. Yes, I know it's warm, but we live in Florida. This is not your only option for warmth.

* Sleeping in the clean clothes basket. While I suspect this is something your grandmother taught you as a way to instill in me the need to fold things straight from the dryer, it's not working. Just stop. Your father doesn't like that much cat hair on his underwear.

* Using a litterbox nugget as a toy. Please do not pretend you are a poor homeless dumpster cat who has to play with whatever he can find. This house is lousy with real cat toys purchased with good money. Play with one those.

* Bringing lizards/frogs/palmetto bugs/spiders into the house. The house is not the natural environment of these creatures and if you continue to bring them inside, the house will not be your natural environment for much longer either.

* Insisting on sharing the lounge chair with me when I am covered in bronzing oil and trying to get some sun. Oil and cat hair will never be a good combo. Bronzing oil is not, no matter how much you want it to be, edible.

Thank you for listening. I feel like our relationship can only improve from here.

Much love,

Your mother

Son of a Biscuit-Eating Bulldog

My work horse laptop, the one that sits on my desk in my office and never travels anywhere, has died. Again. Yes, again - this is the same laptop that had a major hard drive meltdown last year and caused me to lose EVERYTHING.

This time, thanks to Hotrod setting up an external back-up system, nothing will be lost. It's still a giant pain in the backside. And it means that I'm coming to you on my small, slow travel laptop. Hey, I'm grateful for it right now!

So, I'll be calling the guys who installed the new harddrive into my main laptop to see if there's any kind of warranty. Even so, I'm thinking it might be time to get a new machine. The big question is: Should I go to a Mac? What do you think? What kind of machine do you use?

Win A Book!

The Fictionistas are having a contest!

Stop by HERE and read the interview, then leave a comment today for your chance to win Nico Medina's YA novel Fat Hoochie Prom Queen! Read the blurb - the book sounds like a hoot! Here' s the blurb:

Margarita "Madge" Diaz is fat, foxy, and fabulous. She loves herself, and is adored by almost everyone else...except queen bee/student- body president Bridget Benson. These two girls have a history that's uglier than a drag queen after last call. During a heated argument, they decide there's only one way to end their rivalry: Be named prom queen, and the other backs off. For good.

Of course, everything looks different in the sober light of morning, but pride is at stake and the race is on. Madge is committed to doing whatever it takes to secure the title, but so is Bridget. And everyone's got something to hide.

Welcome to Winter Park High School, where the dirt's not just gonna fly...it's gonna go into freakin' orbit.

All right, go get commenting!

So...Sleepy...

Come check me out at Fictionistas today. I'm chatting about zzzzzz...........

The Good Life

This is why you don't walk away from your lounge at Chez Painter. You go in to get a bevie and next thing you know, your seat is taken. Rotten beasties. Look at them, acting like they've been there the whole time. They think those lounges (we have two) are theirs. I have to clean the cat hair off before I sit down! Hence the towel.

And how was your weekend?

Like Mother, Like Daughter

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there!

I have a great mom. Seriously. If you knew her, you'd be jealous. (Although she thinks I show too much cleavage.)

Anyway, thanks Mom for all the love and encouragement and great shopping you've showered me with. I wouldn't be the fab chick I am today without your influence. I love you.

Get Out! This Workshop Is Free?!

Everything Old Is New Again – Using Mythology in Romance

May 16, 17, and 18 at Romance Divas

Featuring:
P.C. Cast
Robin D. Owens
Gena Showalter
Lori Handeland
Alyssa Day

Want to know how to use mythology, culture, fairy tales, or folklore in romance? Romance Divas is hosting a 3-day workshop with some of the hottest names in the genre. It will take place at the Romance Diva Forum. All are welcome. To get access to the forum you will need to register.

I'm Very Friendly

Bebo, Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, Jacketflap...the list of social networking applications goes on and on. How do you decide which ones to focus on? I confess that Facebook is my most favorite. I resisted it for a while because I just didn't want one more "thing" to take care of, but really it's gotten to be my main one. Plus I'm addicted to some of the game applications.

I still maintain a Myspace page, but that community is so large it overwhelms me. Twitter I haven't signed up for yet. Jacketflap is nice in that it's focused around young adult and children's publishing folks. Bebo I sort of set up and forgot.

How many are you on? What's your favorite?

On Being A Girl

I'm rambling about being a girl at Fictionistas today. Come chat!

Monday To Do's

Wow. It's Monday. The day just sort of creeps up on you. I feel like I'm still recovering from all this travel I've been doing, but there is so much on my plate I have no choice but to jump in and get to work.

On the writing front, I have 3 books to revise and bring up to my current writing standards, 2 YA proposals to finish and 1 YA short. This week's goal is to make headway on at least one of those projects while incorporating the real life goal of getting back into the routine of working out.

What are you doing this week?

Traveling Woman

I'm airport bound this morning - off to Boston to celebrate with Marley Gibson at her book launch party. Read more about her and her fabulous book and the launch party HERE. Or HERE. Then I'll blog about it when I get back.

And no, I will not be eating beans. But thanks for asking, Hotrod. *insert eyeroll*