Things You Can't Live Without

It's Monday. We need a little nonsense, don't you think? There's plenty of time for serious tomorrow. Enjoy!

1. How To Get Along With Boys Book - There's also one on how to get along with girls, but honestly, who would really need that?

2. Bacon-flavored Mints - Now that's fresh breath!

3. Giant Ear - never be accused of not listening again.

4. The Illustrated Librarian Tattoos - I'm especially fond of the one that says, "Born To Read."

5. Librarian Action Figure - you can't have 4 without 5. Really.

6. Albino Bowler Action Figure - I'm thinking he'd make a great date for the Librarian.

7. Sushi Bandages - When doesn't slapping raw fish on a wound make it feel better?

8. How To Keep Your Husband Apron - Perfect for the bride, don't you think?

9. Cowboy Boot Sideburns - Perfect for making an impression at your next writer's conference.

10. Itty Bitty Rubber Chickens - Seriously, 144 of them for $35? How can you say no?

A Third Party Candidate Emerges

Some people's children - cough*LaraSantiago*cough - have too much time on their talented hands. You may recall the previous political candidates that have shown up on my blog (such as Sam the cat and Scooter the cat)? Well, I give you Max, whose campaign has apparently been marred by controversy from the start. Poor kitten. I don't think his constituents are going to take this well... Just for reference, I thought I'd post the picture this pays homage to. Max seems to be taking it a bit more seriously, don't you think? LOL

Tag, I'm It

Thanks to Babe, I'm it. Here are the rules:
A. Each player lists 8 facts/habits about themselves.
B. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning before those facts/habits are listed.
C. At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

1. I've lost nearly 14 pounds this month.
2. I can knit. Only square or rectangular things, but still.
3. I talk to my cats constantly.
4. Reality shows are my guilty pleasure, but they're so full of characters it's hard not to call them research.
5. I can sing the scales (do, re, mi) backwards. I had to do it for an audition for a musical as a child and it's stuck with me. (Yes, I got the part.)
6. I can do a cartwheel, but I'd love to be able to.
7. I've always wanted pink hair.
8. Cotton candy is my favorite carnival/fair/circus food. (7 & 8 are not related. That I'm aware of.)

I tag Jax, Tempest, Tawny, Sara, Mel, B.E. and Bonnie.

Beware The Hamster

And here I thought hamsters were sweet little fuzz balls. Come to find out, they're the bane of good grammar!!! Who knew?

Some Couples Were Just Meant To Be...

Have a great weekend, y'all!

Put Your Thinking Cap On

What do you think he's reading?

Just Cuz It's Funny

I'm It!

Beck tagged me to share 8 random things about me, so here goes:

1. I love to bake and decorate elaborate, complicated cakes. (Multiple layers, numerous fillings, interesting flavors)

2. I could read 1000 words a minute with 100% comprehension when I was in eighth grade.

3. I can tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue.

4. If I had to chose between shoes or chocolate, I'd pick shoes.

5. I was once on the Geraldo Rivera show. He touched my face. Take that for what you will.

6. My closest friends in grade school, high school and college were all adopted.

7. If I end up alone in a house full of cats, I'll be okay with that. As long as I have books.

8. I once had the opportunity to try my hand at glass blowing. I turned it down because the equipment didn't look sanitary and I was not about to put my mouth on that icky ole blow tube.

I tag Babe, Sela, Tempest & Lara.

Scooter Has An Opponent

Sam has decided to run against Scooter. I think he looks rather imposing don't you? Amazing he was able to come out from under the bed long enough to have his picture taken. I don't know that I can recommend voting for Sam any more than Scooter. Sam tends to be bossy, whiny and clingy. Not what you'd call "presidential" by any means. He does have a very cute spotted tummy, though.

(Thanks to Lara's talented son for whipping this silliness up.)

New Candidate Announces His Intentions!

Props to one of Lara Santiago's sons for whipping this up. Isn't it a riot? Unfortunately, I will not be voting for Scooter since I can't agree with him on his domestic short hair policy or his push for a second daily feeding. Plus, it's not very presidential to bite someone when they're trying to trim your nails.

Some Crazy Stuff...

Don't believe in signing a Pre-Nup before you get married? This site's for you.

Does your cat have fangs? You might want to double check.

Dig hairy men? Get your tickets now!

Dog gone bald? Here's your answer.

Ever wanted your own Scottish title? Your dream has just come true!

Way Too Freakin' Much

To do, that is. So I'll just leave you with this and get back to work...

I Know What You're Thinking

You're thinking, why is she posting after winning that fabulous Nigerian lottery?

Well, the shameful truth is... I've already blown the money.

Apparently my shopping addiction/ability far outweighs any of my other superpowers, and lo, the cash is gone. What did I buy you might ask? (So glad you did.) First of all, I bought a fabulous little island in the Pacific where I and all my minions (bought some of those, too) will be wiling away the leisure hours sipping Dr. Pepper floats and eating Godiva truffles (okay, we both know I'm not really going to share my Dr. Pepper floats or Godiva truffles with my minions, don't we?) and inviting all my friends to come and wile too.

The guestrooms are stocked and ready, the personal chef is planning some fabulous menus and the day spa is about to open its doors. Just two questions remain...what are you bringing to the party and what should I name this little irregularly shaped piece of heaven?

PS. The charter planes leave sharply at 4:59pm and only has room for two pieces of luggage each. Unless it's Louis Vuitton, and then inferior luggage will be tossed aside to provide extra space. Bring your sarong!

You've Just Won The Nigerian Lottery!

Woohoo! Thanks to a very interesting piece of email this morning, it seems I am about to become too wealthy to continue blogging. I'll be spending my days soaking up the sun and indulging in frozen grape foot massages instead. And all thanks to the people of Nigeria who have apparently chosen me as the winner of their lottery!

I'd like to thank all the little people who made this possible.

Of course, I know you're all going to come begging for funds to support some sick relative or some such nonsense. If you really want some of this loot, you'd better come up with something better than grandma's got the tsetse fly sleeping sickness.

Now, if you'll excuse me, the elephant I ordered is here and I must go sign.

Why Aren't Fangs Everyday Wear?

I love my Halloween fangs. Shame I can only legitimately pull off wearing them twice a year. (Halloween and the *insert theme here* Vampire Ball at Romantic Times)

I mean, c'mon. This is a good look for me, doncha think? (Ignore the horns. The last operation made them virtually unnoticeable.)

Mybe you can help me out with some reasons to wear them more often? What I'm looking for are some good excuses for wearing them on ordinary days. Great lines that explain them away.

So...whatcha got?

Hello Gorgeous...

What brings you to my blog today? Could it be the passion fruit body spray I spritzed on this morning? Or perhaps my sparkling personality? My undeniable charm? Or are you just avoiding work?

Whatever the reason, thanks for stopping by. I thought I'd share one of my old modeling photos with you. Hope you like it.

Yesterday was a good day! Lots of fabulous pages got written and I accepted an invitation to contribute a novella to an anthology headed up by a published author friend of mine. Also, the Pussycat Dolls called and asked if I could join them. Oh wait...that last one is a big fat fib. Who cares? Life is good, even without becoming an internationally known hoochie.

Any good news of your own to report? Please share in the comments. I'd love to hear it!