Friday Funny

The cuteness! It hurts my eyes!



Happy Friday!

Your hoodie said what?

Designer Jennifer Darmour has come up with a hoodie that allows you to stay connected to your social media networks through movement. Apparently when you receive a message or comment from a friend, the garment "taps" you. Lifting or lowering the hood sends a message, and it's completely washable.

Really makes you think about what the future will bring, huh? What do you think? Would you wear it?

Read more here.

Off To RT!

Hey gang, I'm off to RT to mix and mingle. I'll probably be working in the room too, so if you don't see me out and about, it's because I'm being a good little writer. Or you're not looking hard enough. Did you check the fitness center? Yes, I'll be working my body out as well as my mind.

I just hope Hotrod doesn't burn the house down, wreck my car or lose a cat while I'm gone...

The best laid plans

I had every intention of up early (done) and hitting the sidewalk first thing to get my powerwalk out of the way (not done yet) because of the massive To Do list I have today. Instead, I'm just now about to head out because the thunder, lightning, rain and gale force winds have finally let up.

So much for planning.

What are you up to today?

Caturday!

Doorstop. Yur doin' it right, akshully.

Caturday!

Deciding red made him look fat, Scooter ditched the shorts altogether.

Words for the Writer

Just a few observations this Friday on what it means to be a writer...

1. It's a hard job, don't kid yourself otherwise. Not only will you wear out your brain at times, but you may also wear out your hands and your back from hours spent at the keyboard banging away.

2. Rejections happen to everyone at every stage of a career. That means from the unpubbed to the author with 25 books to their name. Don't take it personally.

3. The further in your career you get, the more people are going to want from you.

4. Reviews can kill your spirit. Fan mail can revive it.

5. No matter what book you write, no matter the subject, no matter what lists the book hits, you will not please everyone. Don't try. Worry about pleasing yourself and your editor. That's all you can control.

6. Stress happens. Figure out some coping mechanisms.

7. The good days - and there will be good days - are phenomenal.

8. Learn to take time off. You've got to recharge your creative batteries.

Testing the waters

I've decided to try a little experiment, mostly because Eva Gale exerted serious peer pressure on me. ;o) I've published the first book I wrote (and a Golden Heart finalist in '05) on Smashwords. Years ago I had the first chapter of this book excerpted on my website and I still get the occasional email asking when it's going to be published, so after much thought, I've decided to do it myself.

This article had a lot to do with that decision. Who knows what this will bring, but like I said, it's an experiment. You can check it out here if you're interested. At $1.99 it's a steal and it's available in all formats.

And here's the cover I did for it:


And the blurb:

Eager to find her place in the world and understand the frightening gifts she’s been born with, Jessalyne Brandborn aches to leave her sheltered life behind and take on the job that's been promised to her. Apprentice to the most powerful sorceress in Shaldar, the king’s magewoman. Even if traveling to Castle Ryght means keeping company with the deadliest man in the realm to get there.

On the run, dark elf Ertemis Elta-naya doesn’t want to escort firemage Jessalyne any more than he wants the Legion to catch up with him. He just wants to vindicate his mother’s life before the price on his head results in a knife at his throat. Or in his back. Life as a mercenary has taught him to strike first and ask questions later.

And yet, within them lies the hope of the dying elven race, the renewal of Shaldar's beleaguered kingdom and an incredible chance at love. If they don't kill each other first.

What do you think? Would you ever try a form of publishing like this with your own work?

The perils of exercise

Yesterday, I went for my regular powerwalk around the neighborhood (I do this at least three times a week, sometimes as many as six.) You'd be amazed at how complicated a simple walk can be. Here are a few of my observations:

1. If you have a dog, leash him. I don't care if he's 5 pounds or 85 pounds (well, I care a little) - I have no desire to be bitten, jumped on, slobbered on or harassed by dogs of any weight. Also, when your dog does run after me, GRAB HIM. Don't just watch. I know where you live. Just saying.

2. If you don't have the common courtesy to watch where you're shooting baskets and you hit me with the ball as I walk by, I feel like it's up to me whether I A. kick the ball across the street, B. take the ball home with me or C. return it to you. (Safe money's not on C.)

3. If you're a duck and you choose to yell at me, prepare to be laughed at. Not because I don't take you seriously, but dude, you're a duck. It's funny.

4. In the name of all that's holy, stop parking your car across the sidewalk. It's a side walk, not an extension of your driveway. That big space in front of your garage? That's where the car goes. Figure it out.

5. If you say hi to me and I don't say hi back, it's not because I'm ignoring you, it's because those things in my ears connected to that little rectangle on my hip? They're blasting music into my head. I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

I don't know about you, but I feel better now.

Moving at the speed of light

I have a lot to do this week. A lot. I mean, I always have a packed week, but this week is extra busy since I'm leaving next week for a writer's conference. That means there's extra stuff to do to get ready, like hair and nails, making sure laundry's done, getting Hotrod situated to survive while I'm gone, figuring out what I'm going to wear. I even have to whip out a short synopsis. You know how it is.

On a side note, my sooper seekrit project is just about ready to turn into my agent and be submitted to the editor, so fingers crossed! I'm pretty happy with how it turned out - so much so that it's inspired me to finish another sooper seekrit project that's been languishing undone on my computer.

What are you working on?

Caturday!

Can't...wait...for...my turn...at...window...any longer...

You complete me

I'm over at Fictionistas today talking about a sense of accomplishment. Come on over and chat!

There might be donuts.

The Dark Side of Women

This little funny is courtesy of my mother. (And I'm posting this because I'm on the verge of finishing my sooper seekrit project and need all the hours I can get today!)

A woman was in town on a shopping trip. She began her day by finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale in the second. In the third, everything had just been reduced by 50 percent when her mobile phone rang.

It was a female doctor notifying her that her husband had just been in a terrible car accident and was in critical condition in the ICU. The woman told the doctor to inform her husband where she was and that she'd be there as soon as possible.

As she hung up she realized she was leaving what was shaping up to be
her best day ever in the boutiques. She decided to get in a couple
more shops before heading to the hospital. She ended up shopping the
rest of the morning, finishing her trip with a cup of coffee and a
beautiful chocolate cake slice, compliments of the last shop. She was
jubilant.

Then she remembered her husband. Feeling guilty, she dashed to the
hospital. She saw the woman doctor in the corridor and asked about her
husband's condition. The doctor glared at her and shouted, "You went
ahead and finished your shopping trip, didn't you!? I hope you're proud
of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying
yourself in town, your husband has been languishing in the Intensive
Care Unit! It's just as well you went ahead and finished, because it
will more than likely be the last shopping trip you ever take! For the
rest of his life he will require round-the-clock care. And he will now
be your career!"

The woman, overcome with guilt, broke down and sobbed.

The woman doctor chuckled and said, "I'm just messing with you. He's
dead. Show me what you bought."

Shake it like a Polaroid picture!

First of all, I'd just like to say that I crushed it in the gym yesterday. (And by gym I mean the space in our house dedicated as such, not an outside facility.) I can already feel that soreness that accompanies a new workout settling in, but it's a good thing and I earned it.

Now that I'm back to working out on a regular basis, I can honestly say I've missed it. Sitting at my desk all day isn't good for me and I know it. Working out gets me energized, makes me feel like I can accomplish anything and many times, helps me work out plot issues.

So here's my challenge to those of you not working out. Every couple of hours, play one of your favorite songs to dance to on your iTunes or stereo or whatever and get up out of your chair and shake it. Move your body! Cut a rug! Get your groove on! Try it a few times a day and see if you don't feel better. I dare you.

Hard-At-Work Monday

Mondays are the kind of days I like to put my head down and really sink into the week's work. Today is no different except at some point I have to run out to do an errand. I'm pretty close to finishing my Sooper Sekrit project and that makes me want to stay in even more.

So here's what my day/week looks like. I find that making lists for both really keep me on track.

Today's To Do's:

1. Write 1500 words.
2. Workout - I'm thinking about working out twice today, once for cardio and once for weights. For my cardio, I powerwalk and I really enjoy being outside while the weather is still tolerable here.
3. Run errands
4. Laundry - whoop-di-freakin'-do

This Week's To Do's:

1. Make hair appt.
2. Finish and read through Sooper Sekrit project then send to reader
3. Workout every day
4. Pick out plants with landscaper
5. Clean the house a little (no reason to put too much effort into it, it's only going to get dirty again.)

What are you up to this week? Working on anything fun? Getting close to finishing anything or starting something new?

Caturday!

Lights off! I'z sleepin' in. It's caturday!
Go work someplace else, lady.
After breakfast, that iz...

Friday Fog

Don't you hate when you fall asleep thinking about the perfect blog topic, only to wake up and not remember what the heck it was? I even keep a notebook and pen on my nightstand, but I guess I was too sleepy to write it down.

It's an overcast day here. Rain is moments away, I'm sure. I need to make this quick so I can get out for my walk. Speaking of which, I've decided to try listening to some audio books as I walk. Yesterday, lots of people on twitter said how much they enjoy them, but I've never listened to one in my life, so it will be a new "thing" and it's always good to try something new.

I've downloaded the software to my Zune, set up an account at Audible, now I just need to figure out what I want to listen to.

Do you do audio books? What have you listened to lately?

It Takes A Village

A debut book is often a collaboration of efforts. Yes, one person wrote it, but the team of people behind that book can include critique partners, beta readers, husbands, kids, and chapter mates. Then there's the industry village of an agent, editor, art department, copy editor, publicity people...you get the picture. Subsequent books may not need as much "home team" support, but without those people behind you initially, it can be a very rocky road.

First books are very exciting - especially when you were part of the village. Go visit debut author Leigh Duncan and say hi at Everybody Needs A Little Romance today and you can be a villager too. She a good friend and one of the nicest people I've ever known. If you're sick, she's the one organizing the meal deliveries until you're back on your feet. For real - I've been the recipient of this. Leigh deserves great success and I hope she gets it.

Besides, the village could really use a pool.

Eau de Blood & Death?

I love vampires as much as the next slightly-off-center-over-the-top writer/reader (heck, I'm a vampire author!), but I'm not sure I want to smell like one. Or do I...

The perfume is described as "A spellbinding top note of luscious fruits and flowers lurks with desire. Velvet petals saturate the heart with their seductive powers. Finally, an intoxicating creaminess intensifies her charm and lingers with its warmth, like a soft breath on her skin."

Hmm. I'm withholding judgment until I get a whiff. What do you think? Would you wear it? Buy it? Actually tell people what scent you had on if they asked?

Anyway, you can try to win some if you're interested. Just check out the contest here.

A Very Focused Monday

I have three goals today:

1. Meet with landscapers to discuss refurbishing this whole mess of a yard.
2. Workout until I want to cry.
3. Write a massive amount of pages.

Simple. To the point. Perfect for Monday.

What are you up to this fine day?

Caturday - the Easter edition

Filling in for the role of "cat" is Pepper St. Claire, America's top model dog. Isn't she sweet? Thanks to Roxanne St. Claire for the pic!

Have a happy wonderful Easter! Take your family to church!

It's Good Friday!

I'm over at Fictionistas today talking about good news! Come share yours and have a happy, safe, blessed Easter!

I Pity The Fool

Who tries to punk me today. Unlike most April Fool's Days, I'm not staying home. I'm going out to meet some writer friends and then to the store to pick up a few things but I am NOT in the mood to be trifled with.

So consider yourself warned. Do not make me go all Mr. T on you. He and I do share a birthday and as many of you know, I have the jewelry necessary to make it happen. So contain yourselves.

Anything you're thinking up wouldn't be funny anyway.

On a slightly related note, I'm sort of jazzed to see the new A-Team movie that's coming out. I loved that show as a kid. Is it just me or are the '80's making a comeback?