Project Wack-a-doodle

Season 5 (and the last season that will be on Bravo) of Project Runway got off to a bang last night with what looks to be some of the most interesting designers yet. (An aside: Bravo has done little to no promotion for this season - perhaps because they lost the series to another network? Can you say sore loser?)

As always, there is one designer who sticks in my craw. Maybe because he's too...girlicious? Ugh. That is so not a catch phrase that will catch on. The tanorexic Blayne is way too in love with himself if you ask me. Where is Christian when you need someone called a hot tranny mess, I ask you?

The winner of this first challenge was Kelli - awesome chick with a full sleeve tat on one arm. She used vacuum cleaner bags that she dyed herself with ink, coffee and bleach to make the skirt and some burned coffee filters for the bodice. Other elements of the dress contained parts of a spiral-bound notebook and thumbtacks. She pretty much rocks like a rockstar and is my early favorite.

The loser was Jerry, whose outfit looked like it might be worn by a serial killer escaped from a nut house butcher shop. Wow. Scariest use of a tablecloth and shower curtain ever. He did not, as Tim Gunn would say, make it work.

I'm so glad this madness is back on TV. I has a happy!

You're In, You're Out. You're In, You're Out. You're In...

We recently installed a pet door panel (and by we, I mean Hotrod) in one of our sets of sliding doors. This was done in hopes that we would no longer be forced to get out of bed because of the crying/meowing/wrestling/carrying on that occurs when the hellions want out at 3 AM. (And so you know, this only gets them onto the fully screened lanai, not the actual great outdoors.)

So far, this door has been met with a great deal of "meh." I thought Sam had figured it out, and I think he has for the most part, he still occassionally goes to the slider and cries. Max has learned to come in, but can't get that the door will also let him out. *sigh* And Scooter, the cat who taught himself to flush the toilet so he could watch the water go down, doesn't seem to get the door at all.

Anyone have any ideas how I might speed up this learning curve? I'd love some training ideas.

Phrased Out

I'm over at Fictionistas today talking about words and phrases that do/do not belong in conversation - come add your ideas!

Hot Mess Monday

So the Twilight movie, based on the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyers, has finally hit the cover of Entertainment Weekly. Um...is it just me or is that pic of Edward just completely sad? I mean, in the book he's this fabulous, mind-blowingly handsome, sparkly dude. In that pic, he's more like some kind of dull, mind-eating zombie. (And I get the feeling that I could snap him like a twig.)

I hope he doesn't look like that in the movie, or you're going to have theaters full of rioting teenage girls. Or do teenage girls think pale and wasted is hot?

Bumpy Things Report

After many days of nothing, I spotted the gator again last night. I said I thought he 5-6 feet before, but I take that back. I think he's 6-6.5 easily. He was swimming with most of his body showing, so it was easier to tell. I got a really good look at his face with the binoculars, too, and now...I kinda feel sorry for him.

He looks like he's usually the last one the other gators pick for dodgeball. He's got about a 5 inch scar that runs from the corner of his eye down the side of his neck. And his jaw isn't right. Like it's deformed or was damaged in a fight. It's all twisted to the right and lopsided. On the left side, you can plainly see several of the teeth from his bottom jaw. Straight on, it gives him a kind of sad expression.

I know he's a gator and a decent size one, so he's obviously doing all right for himself, but I have a soft heart toward any kind of animal and I hate to see them suffer, you know?

Anyway, have a good weekend!

50 Books In A Year

I'm in the midst of number 28 right now, so I'm well on track to read 50 books this year, however I have to say I thought it would be easier. I figured I read that many anyway. I thought reading 50 books would be a piece of cake. It hasn't been. There have been a handful that I've read half-way through only to quit because they were so bad. You don't get credit for those. Then there are some like New Moon and Lover Enshrined that are long enough they ought to count for two. Anyway, I'm on track, which is cool because I hate to attempt a thing like that and fail.

How many books do you think you've read this year? Are you keeping track?

Which of these authors will you be?

From Slunch, a group blog of publicists, comes a list of author archetypes you do NOT want to be on (at least, I don't think you want to be on this list - personally, I'm making notes for the future):

1) The Space Case: Although well-intended they forget about interviews (even after being reminded the night before) and if they do remember they have an event, they’ll show up late. The net result causing mild ulcers every time you get a phone call from a reporter or bookseller who doesn't know how to get a hold of him/her. Solution- Never let them out of your sight.

2) The Overeager: Not to be confused with the Gem (see below). While thankful and willing, wants to do too much and constantly floods your inbox with unfeasible ideas. “Hey, how about we send Oprah my signed tiger woods golf club along with a copy of the book?” ummmm, dude, your book is about child rearing and Oprah is friends with Tiger. I’m sure she can get his club any time she wants. Solution- Ignore the majority of their emails and never reply immediately to anything they send you.

3) The Gem: Thankful for any and everything you get them, they are an eager beaver willing to do anything and everything you ask them. At times, you feel pity for getting them on WOR’s Joey Reynolds show and making them stay up till 3am, but hey, its a national booking. Solution- Thank God.

4) The Two Face: Will deal with you politely, then complain to their agent and get their agent to do the dirty work for them. Oh sure, you’re all smiles now, but that venom dripping from your agent’s surgically reinforced lips tells me a different tale. Solution- Document everything and share this ammo with the editor and your boss so you have peeps in your corner fighting for you. Take author off your Christmas card list.

5) The Ego: A prima donna that comes in 2 levels, unjustified and justified. The Unjustified Ego is the first time author who thinks they should be the center of your attention and laments their lack of coverage loudly. The Justified Ego is the New York Times bestselling author who's sales make up your paycheck and who can actually get you fired if you screw up. Solution: Bitch about the Unjustified Ego to their editor and they’ll whip em into shape. As for the Justified Ego, do your damndest to do anything and everything you can for them.

6) The Recluse: Impossible to get to do any media whatsoever and you can only communicate with them through their agent. Solution- None.

7) The Waste: Sadly, The Waste has no presence whatsoever, looks ugly, and can't hold a conversation no matter how brilliant they sound in print so you can't get them any publicity outside of an email Q&A. Solution- None.

8) The Neurotic: Constantly worries about their performance, compares themselves to other authors and are self deprecating to a fault and detriment of their publication. Bonus points if #8 is also an Unjustified Ego. Solution- Prozac, counseling.

9) The Amazon Author Crack Addict: All of the above obsessively check their amazon.com ranking.

ARCS I Really Need

I'm hoping Roxanne St. Claire and C.L. Wilson have their Google alerts up and working because I really need ARCs of their next books and I'm hoping this post will go a long way in that direction. Like, really need these fabulous books. Willing to beg, in fact. Not that I think that should be necessary. I'm a fabulous person who deserves to read these before everyone else. LOL

First up would be Roxanne St. Claire's Now You Die, available August 26th. This is the one that concludes the mini-series trilogy within her Bullet Catcher series (first of the trilogy - First You Run, second - Then You Hide). This is Lucy's story - the creator of the Bullet Catchers. Hot, sexy, serious action, plus buff men with guns. 'Nuff said. WANT!

Then there's C.L. Wilson's King Of Sword And Sky, third in her Tairen Soul series, releasing September 30th. This is fantasy romance like nothing you've ever read. Lush, rich, emotive and all with a slight patina that makes each brand new story seem like a tangle of well-loved myth and legend revisited. Good stuff. WANT!

Now ladies, concerning those ARCs...you know how to find me. I'll be waiting. (Plus I promise to buy the book once it's actually released. I always do anyway!)

You ate what?

I'm blogging at Fictionistas today about the crazy food concoctions born out of college life and no money. Come tell me about your strange combos at Fictionistas!

WOOHOO!!!

One of my BFF's, Louisa Edwards, has SOLD! Here's the PW report:

Rose Hilliard at St. Martin's Press preempted world rights to four
books by editor-turned- author Louisa Edwards via Deidre Knight. Set
amid the New York restaurant scene, the first book in the series is
called Can't Stand the Heat and is slated to launch in fall 2009, with
subsequent titles to appear every six months. Knight is a romance
author as well as agent, and Edwards was her first editor at NAL. When
Edwards left New York publishing, Knight briefly worked with Hilliard,
who subsequently left for SMP.

Now go give her some love in person here.

Happy Fourth!!!

Have fun, be safe, eat too much and think patriotic thoughts!
HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!

Would you wear this?

Would you wear this dress? Answer first, then highlight the following for crazy secret this dress hides: It's made of condoms.

Now, would you still wear it? Does it change the way you feel about it? Why or why not?

Taking It Slow

It's been raining a lot here lately. Heavy, drowning rains accompanied by lightning and wake-the-dead thunder. The kind of storms that cause your electricity to flicker and your hair to stand on end.

Fun, fun stuff.

So the pool is rather full and the cats seem less than enthusiastic about trying the new cat door Hotrod installed for them so they can go out on the lanai anytime they want without one of us having to get up and open the slider for them.

As for me, I'm going to veg on the couch and read the last few pages of Roxanne St. Claire's Then You Hide. Are you reading this series? It's THE AWESOME. Seriously, get out there and treat yourself to some hot, hot Bullet Catchers today.

She works hard for the money

I'm at Fictionistas today, talking about summer jobs and stupid tourists. Come chat!

Monday Needs This

Put The Big Red Button on your site

Caturday!

I've got a chapter meeting today (gun seminar!) then maybe later, a movie. What are you up to?

Freaky Friday

Happy Friday! Here is my gift to you:
Just stare at that for awhile. Later, when you've begun more festive Friday night activities, feel free to come back and stare it some more.

You're welcome.

What time is it?

I watched Shear Genius (check out the ever witty Kwana for a recap) last night, because as most of you know, reality TV is my crack. However, I was beat and ended up falling sleep on the couch. Which I hate, because it really screws up my whole sleep rhythm thing. As a result I am sucking down coffee in an attempt to wake my inner writer up. And, okay, my outer writer isn't exactly chipper, either.

My main goals today are writing and errands. What are you up to?

In other writing-related news, have you heard about this crap? Talk about publishers to avoid. My heart goes out to the author involved.

For some hardcore cuteness, do yourself a favor and visit the ferret cam. Baby ferret, y'all!

Could It Be This Easy?

I gotta try this. If you give it a shot, let me know how it works.

I wish I'd known then...

What I know now about fashion! Come check out my post at the Fictionistas today and talk 80's fashion with me!

Writing and More Pretty Bumpy Things

Gator Update: The past two mornings we've seen a new gator in the canal. This one is probably in the 5-6 foot range and likes to hang out right in front of our house a lot. This morning I think he was looking for a section of bank to sun himself on. At one point he came out about half-way, but the bank was too steep and he slid in. Hotrod took some pics and a video. I'll see if I can get it from him and post it here. (I didn't take the pic here, but that's exactly what he looked like floatin' around.)

Writing Update: The writing is going well, the story is coming in big chunks, like watching a movie - does this happen to you? The characters are giving me lines, helping me build the story. It's awesome. I'm looking forward to getting a big number of pages done this week: 50. Can I do it? Yes, but I'm going to have to keep my head down.

Movie Update: Due to a massive storm, we only got to see The Hulk on Saturday. It was really good tho. Today we're headed out for a late matinée of Indy.

I Doan Wanna Work...

Yes, I know it's Caturday, and there are a million cute cat pictures I could post, but I thought I would express myself in a graph instead. Because it's my blog and I can do whatever the blueberry I want to. Commence graph:



And by bang on the drum, I mean watch movies. We're headed to the Rave for a mini-marathon of action packed goodness. The Hulk and Indiana Jones, baby!

What are your Saturday plans?

Keeping Up With The Bloggers

I currently use Google Reader to keep up with my favorite blogs and it does a nice job, but there are a few blogs it just won't pick up for some reason. Regardless, I really like that I can preview and read the blogs without leaving my iGoogle home page and then if I want to comment, simply click a button to take me there.

What sort of blog roll do you use, if you use one? Do you use one? If not, why not?

Speaking of blogs I read, check out Kwana's blog to read some questions and answers with our lovely agent, Elaine Spencer, from the most amazing agency on the face of the earth - The Knight Agency. Seriously, it won't be long before they take over the world. Get to know Elaine now before she's crowned Princess of the Universe. (Because of course, Deidre would be Queen.)

And lastly, speaking of agents, check out Nathan Bransford's interview with the Fictionistas - he's actually up for Hottest Man in Publishing. lol - Oh, and he's a really great YA agent to boot.

Me, Contemplating Death

Here's me, Hotrod (behind me), Hotrod's brother and next to me, Hotrod's sister's hubby. We're about to face certain death on a roller coaster called Stormrider at Hershey Park. It blasts you off from 0 to 72 miles an hour in 2 seconds. This pic was snapped about .5 seconds into that.

I don't look like I was having fun, but I was. Actually, I think I was trying to figure out if I should have cotton candy or a turkey leg next. That roller coaster was one of the fastest I've ever ridden. There was literally no time to think about what was happening until it was over. That's also when you took your next breath. Seriously. Fast. (It also left bruises on me. I'm not kidding. It was fast and mercilessly bumpy.)

What's the best coaster you've ever ridden?

My Lolcats

moar funny pictures

Go vote for Scooter and Max's bad behavior here!

Home, Hallelujah!

My Hershey Park adventure with Hotrod's family was...an adventure. I'll have more on that tomorrow, but you can chime in on some of it here.

The Stickiest Place On Earth

If Disney is the happiest, Hershey must be the stickiest. I'm soon to find out as we're headed that way this weekend for a family gathering with Hotrod's side.

Personally, I plan to go into a sugar coma (also known as self-medicating) and have wild, hallucinogenic dreams about giant chocolate...bars. What? You thought I was going to say something else? Perv.

Once I get back, I'll be in serious diet mode in prep for Nationals, which will be here before you know it. Have a great weekend, y'all! Think of me if you eat any chocolate, m'kay?

Pretty Bumpy Things

The phone rang at 1:48 AM. I was awake on the first ring, but the phone's on Hotrod's side and he could sleep through an amputation. He eventually managed to get the phone out of it's cradle, at which time he stared at it blankly until I grabbed it. After the third ring and before I could answer it, it went silent.

I checked the caller ID. Out Of Area. Which basically means I have no idea who called at that horrid hour. My heart, which was already pounding because, let's face it, a phone call at that hour usually means someone's dead, in jail or both, now turned black with anger and the desire to make someone dead or in jail.

There are two things that make me cranky. Hunger. Lack of sleep. Take notes.

So I was all prepared to be in a poopy mood this morning when lo and behold, Hotrod calls me outside. At first, I just see the two sandhill cranes he's been feeding, then he points out into the water. We have a gator in our canal! Very exciting stuff, I assure you. And he's kind of cute, just a little fellow maybe 2 1/2 - 3 feet long. He's swimming along and we're taking pictures (well, Babe was) and then what do I spot...another one! Two gators! Coolness squared.

The day has been saved.

Waterstorming

Some people brainstorm. I waterstorm. See, I get my best ideas when I'm either in the shower or in the pool. Yesterday, I was in both. A huge piece of my new YA came to me while I was floating and I couldn't believe I'd overlooked it. This might change everything - or at least make it a much more interesting book. I also had some secondary ideas of things to layer in. All good stuff. I'm excited!

Where do your best ideas come from? What do you do when you need to generate some new thoughts on a piece?

My Addictions, Come Read About Them

Today I'm confessing one of my deepest, darkest addictions over at The Fictionistas and how I want more, even though it's bad for me. And I'm not talking about shoes.

Go ahead and click through. You know you want to.

To Do's

It's Monday. With a new week come new responsibilities. (That sounds much more awake than I actually am.)

1. Write new prologue for old book. (Last year's GH finalist.) Incorporate original prologue as flashback or nightmare.
2. Incorporate beta reader ideas into old book, increase sexual tension in a few areas.
3. Deal with chapter stuff: website, June meeting info
4. Blog about multiple free workshops going on at Romance Divas (How To Write A Novella, Pitching 101, Brillant After Burnout).
5. Laundry

Babe is here through the end of the week, so on Tuesday we're headed to Disney. Then Jax is coming down on Wednesday for a writing day. Friday, Hotrod and I are headed out of town for the weekend. Busy, busy, busy. Maybe I should get one of these to help me remember everything:What are you doing this week?

Ladies Who Lunch

We had a lovely lunch yesterday with lots of fun, frivolity and food. The guests included: Me (of course), Babe (of course), Jax, Roxanne St. Claire, Lara Santiago, Carrie Hensley and Carolyn O'Neil.

A blurry pic of all of us.

Babe and Jax

Carrie and Lara

Babe and Rocki, posing with First You Run, which features a Tasmanian hero!

Maximum fun was had by all and will be repeated tonight with a few more guests at the poolside party at my house!

Girls Day Out

Yesterday, Babe and I and Lara Santiago went to see the Sex And The City movie. It was fairly entertaining, but it did not make me cry like it did some of my other friends who had already seen it. I think Babe and Lara liked it, too.

Afterwards we went to Panera Bread for some lunch and girl talk. Babe also snagged the world's largest straw.

Today we're having more lunch and girl talk, this time including such fabulous girls as Roxanne St. Claire and Jax. Of course, what happens at lunch, stays at lunch.

Be jealous.

Y'all Come Back Now, Y'Hear?

Yesterday I took Babe to Cracker Barrel for breakfast. I thought it would a interesting way to start the day and a perfect example of good ole Southern overeating.

After perusing the store and purchasing some Pop Rocks for her kids, we headed to our table and quickly decided on the Sunrise Sampler. This breakfast basically features one of everything except pancakes: biscuits with sawmill gravy, grits (which Babe originally thought was ground up animal intestines), two eggs anyway, a piece each of sausage, ham and bacon, hash brown casserole and fried apples. Mmmm....fat and animal products.

Despite Babe's disbelief at the amount of food (she said "wow" like four times), we both did decent damage to the breakfast, leaving behind a biscuit each and a fair amount of gravy (and grits on Babe's part) then went back out to the store where Babe made a few more purchases.

After that, we headed to the ubiquitous Vietnamese nail salon for a little girl time. Babe was amazed at what a great job they did for so little money. Once we were purtied up, I took her to the local Ross discount store where she proceeded to - I kid you not - outshop me. She had to buy a new suitcase to accommodate her purchases. We made another stop at Walmart for some necessities (mostly fruit and cheap t-shirts) then headed home to eat watermelon while floating in the pool.

I think she likes it here. More adventures tomorrow.

Your web or mine?

I'm blogging at Fictionistas today about the trouble that Spiderman caused me as a teenager. It involves a marriage proposal. Seriously.

You Devil, You!

I have a very special guest visiting me this week - my friend and critique partner, Babe King! What makes the visit so special is that she's from Tasmania, the island state of Australia.

In other words, a long way away.

We've known each other for about four years, but this is the first time we've met face to face. Very cool. I'm going to do my best to introduce her to a bunch of my writing friends while she's here, show her some Floridian sights, do the tourist thing...you know.

Speaking of Tasmania...have you read Roxanne St. Claire's First You Run? It's got a yummy Tassie hero. Just saying.

I'm A Bad Blogger

Okay, so I haven't been blogging regularly lately. I know that. I apologize. (If anyone even cares. lol) I planned to blog today, but then I read that Clay Aiken is apparently going to be a father.

I know. It left me speechless too. And totally erased whatever fabulous blog post I would have put here. Gone. Smashed to nothingness by the powerful sperm of the redheaded stepchild.

In other news, a squirrel peed on my office window, then chewed through the screen in our lanai to get to a bag of birdseed. I replaced the screen, because I am Uber Handy, then he proceeded to chew another hole. Hotrod then hosed the squirrel into submission (during which I laughed hysterically because the squirrel, although dripping wet, seemed to like his bath) and the issue seems to have resolved itself.

Now I must do something that resembles housework. You, on the other hand, should totally go dress up this squirrel. Give it a whirl. It's better than laundry.

I'm A Killer

A show killer, that is. Check it out at Fictionistas and tell me if you've killed any shows yet.

Also, say a little prayer. Hotrod is having some intense oral surgery today and he is not a happy camper.

Happy Memorial Day!

Here's America's Next Top Supermodel Dog, Pepper St. Claire (of the Roxanne St. Claire modeling company), wishing you a fabulous sun-filled day for whatever picnic, cookout or other event you might have planned.

Of course, I'd be remiss if I didn't thank all the men and women in uniform, past and present, for their service to this fine country. Thank you for keeping us free!

Whatcha Reading?

I'm finishing up The Spymaster's Lady by Joanna Bourne (not sure what I think of it yet) and about to start Roxanne St. Claire's First You Run (which I already know I'm going to love).


What are you reading?

Slice of My Life

Scene: Walmart

Characters: Me, my parents, my brother (on phone)

Action: My cell rings, it's my brother calling to wish me happy birthday.

Me: Hey.
Bro: Hey. Happy birthday.
Me: Thanks, man. What's up?
*My father: Where's the fried chicken?*
*My mother: You don't need fried chicken.*
*My father: Don't worry about what I need, woman.*
Bro: Is that mom and dad?
Me: Who else? Dad needs fried chicken apparently. What have you been doing?
Bro: Working my butt off. So, you're 37 now?
Me: 38
Bro: 38? You can't be 38. I'm 34.
*My father: Is this the right chicken?*
*My mother: That's 8 pieces. You can't eat all that.*
*My father puts chicken in cart.*
Me: You're 35.
Bro: No I'm not.
Me to my mother: How old is Matthew?
Mom: 35
Me to my brother: See? Dude, you're old.
Bro: I'm pretty sure I'm 34.
Me: Fine. We'll go with that. I'm sure the woman who gave birth to you has no clue how long ago the event occured.
Bro: Whatever. What did you do today?
Me: We watched a snapping turtle eat a dead raccoon.
Bro: Cool. Did you get pics?
Me: No.
Bro: You suck.
Me: Thanks.
*My father: Ooo...doughnuts!*
Bro: Yeah, well, happy birthday.

Sparklie Things Most Appreciated

38 years ago today, my mother gave birth to the fabulousness that is me. Thanks, Mom!

GENA SHOWALTER Chatting Live Tuesday, May 19th 8pm EST

The super-fabulous and super-talented Gena Showalter is chatting live at the Knight Agency chat room tonight at 8pm EST.

Gena is currently celebrating 3 weeks on the NYT top 15 list for her recent release THE DARKEST NIGHT, the first in the much anticipated LORDS OF THE UNDERWORLD series. Gena will be chatting about her current block-buster release and gossiping about the writing life in general. Perhaps if we're lucky she will even provide a few teasers for the second title in the series, THE DARKEST KISS (available everywhere next week!), and who knows, maybe a few give-aways will be in store! (hint, hint, hint!)

For anyone that hasn't previously chatted with Ms. Showalter, I can guarantee this is an event you don't want to miss. Not only is she an absolute doll with tons of advice on the business, but she is an absolute riot and this chat is sure to have lots of laugh out loud moments.We can't wait to see everyone there!

If you aren't yet familiar with this new series be sure to check out Gena's new Lords Of the Underworld website. Here you can find out all about the series and its' sexy tortured heroes, there are even excerpts available for each of the yet unreleased titles!

WHO: GENA SHOWALTER
WHAT: CHATTING LIVE!
WHEN: 8pm EST, Tuesday May 20, 2008
WHERE: TKA CHATROOM

To Enter the chat room: Follow this link TKA CHATROOM, enter a screen name and simply select "login."

*Rules of Play: To keep things organized, the chats are all moderated. The moderator will begin by posting the following rules of play: when you have a question, simply type a "?" and the moderator will keep a list and call on you when it is your turn.

*Chat tips:When waiting on your turn, type your question in Word or another application so when it is your turn you only have to copy and paste. (Keeps the chat running smoothly) Click on any screen name in the list to open a Private Message conversation (a lot like AIM).

See you there! In the meantime, stop by The Fictionistas and tell me if you're a wimp or not...

You Call That Cover Art?

Do you judge a book by its cover? Stop by The Fictionistas and tell us what you think!

And YAY! It's finally raining in this part of Florida!

An Open Letter To My Cat

Dear Sam,

First of all, you know Mama loves you. This is why I think we need to discuss a few things about your behavior.

1. There is no need to sit on my nightstand and stare down at me when I'm waking up. I realize you're concerned that I may forget I have cats and that they need to be feed, but I assure you, I will not. The loud yowling that commences upon your seeing my eyes open is also not necessary.

2. Neither is swatting my legs. My routine has been the same every morning for years. When I get up, I visit the litter box and brush my teeth. Nothing you do will cause me to feed you first. Not the crying, not the ankle biting, not even sleeping in my sink. I am capable of using a different sink to brush my teeth.

3. However, if you took more than one bite of your food before walking away I might be convinced you were actually hungry.

Other things that will henceforth be considered inappropriate behavior:

* Amusing yourself throughout the night by "cleaning" off my nightstand. I do not appreciate finding such things as my chapstick, hand lotion, hair scrunchy and latest book shoved onto the floor in the morning.

* Licking the lotion off my arm while I am trying to sleep.

* Sleeping on my keyboard. Yes, I know it's warm, but we live in Florida. This is not your only option for warmth.

* Sleeping in the clean clothes basket. While I suspect this is something your grandmother taught you as a way to instill in me the need to fold things straight from the dryer, it's not working. Just stop. Your father doesn't like that much cat hair on his underwear.

* Using a litterbox nugget as a toy. Please do not pretend you are a poor homeless dumpster cat who has to play with whatever he can find. This house is lousy with real cat toys purchased with good money. Play with one those.

* Bringing lizards/frogs/palmetto bugs/spiders into the house. The house is not the natural environment of these creatures and if you continue to bring them inside, the house will not be your natural environment for much longer either.

* Insisting on sharing the lounge chair with me when I am covered in bronzing oil and trying to get some sun. Oil and cat hair will never be a good combo. Bronzing oil is not, no matter how much you want it to be, edible.

Thank you for listening. I feel like our relationship can only improve from here.

Much love,

Your mother

Son of a Biscuit-Eating Bulldog

My work horse laptop, the one that sits on my desk in my office and never travels anywhere, has died. Again. Yes, again - this is the same laptop that had a major hard drive meltdown last year and caused me to lose EVERYTHING.

This time, thanks to Hotrod setting up an external back-up system, nothing will be lost. It's still a giant pain in the backside. And it means that I'm coming to you on my small, slow travel laptop. Hey, I'm grateful for it right now!

So, I'll be calling the guys who installed the new harddrive into my main laptop to see if there's any kind of warranty. Even so, I'm thinking it might be time to get a new machine. The big question is: Should I go to a Mac? What do you think? What kind of machine do you use?

Win A Book!

The Fictionistas are having a contest!

Stop by HERE and read the interview, then leave a comment today for your chance to win Nico Medina's YA novel Fat Hoochie Prom Queen! Read the blurb - the book sounds like a hoot! Here' s the blurb:

Margarita "Madge" Diaz is fat, foxy, and fabulous. She loves herself, and is adored by almost everyone else...except queen bee/student- body president Bridget Benson. These two girls have a history that's uglier than a drag queen after last call. During a heated argument, they decide there's only one way to end their rivalry: Be named prom queen, and the other backs off. For good.

Of course, everything looks different in the sober light of morning, but pride is at stake and the race is on. Madge is committed to doing whatever it takes to secure the title, but so is Bridget. And everyone's got something to hide.

Welcome to Winter Park High School, where the dirt's not just gonna fly...it's gonna go into freakin' orbit.

All right, go get commenting!

So...Sleepy...

Come check me out at Fictionistas today. I'm chatting about zzzzzz...........

The Good Life

This is why you don't walk away from your lounge at Chez Painter. You go in to get a bevie and next thing you know, your seat is taken. Rotten beasties. Look at them, acting like they've been there the whole time. They think those lounges (we have two) are theirs. I have to clean the cat hair off before I sit down! Hence the towel.

And how was your weekend?

Like Mother, Like Daughter

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there!

I have a great mom. Seriously. If you knew her, you'd be jealous. (Although she thinks I show too much cleavage.)

Anyway, thanks Mom for all the love and encouragement and great shopping you've showered me with. I wouldn't be the fab chick I am today without your influence. I love you.

Get Out! This Workshop Is Free?!

Everything Old Is New Again – Using Mythology in Romance

May 16, 17, and 18 at Romance Divas

Featuring:
P.C. Cast
Robin D. Owens
Gena Showalter
Lori Handeland
Alyssa Day

Want to know how to use mythology, culture, fairy tales, or folklore in romance? Romance Divas is hosting a 3-day workshop with some of the hottest names in the genre. It will take place at the Romance Diva Forum. All are welcome. To get access to the forum you will need to register.

I'm Very Friendly

Bebo, Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, Jacketflap...the list of social networking applications goes on and on. How do you decide which ones to focus on? I confess that Facebook is my most favorite. I resisted it for a while because I just didn't want one more "thing" to take care of, but really it's gotten to be my main one. Plus I'm addicted to some of the game applications.

I still maintain a Myspace page, but that community is so large it overwhelms me. Twitter I haven't signed up for yet. Jacketflap is nice in that it's focused around young adult and children's publishing folks. Bebo I sort of set up and forgot.

How many are you on? What's your favorite?

On Being A Girl

I'm rambling about being a girl at Fictionistas today. Come chat!

Monday To Do's

Wow. It's Monday. The day just sort of creeps up on you. I feel like I'm still recovering from all this travel I've been doing, but there is so much on my plate I have no choice but to jump in and get to work.

On the writing front, I have 3 books to revise and bring up to my current writing standards, 2 YA proposals to finish and 1 YA short. This week's goal is to make headway on at least one of those projects while incorporating the real life goal of getting back into the routine of working out.

What are you doing this week?

Traveling Woman

I'm airport bound this morning - off to Boston to celebrate with Marley Gibson at her book launch party. Read more about her and her fabulous book and the launch party HERE. Or HERE. Then I'll blog about it when I get back.

And no, I will not be eating beans. But thanks for asking, Hotrod. *insert eyeroll*